just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
