I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
