She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
