So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
