All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
