What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
