She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
