Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
