Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I wish there were birth control emojis
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
