I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
