what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
