Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
