I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
