he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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