So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
