How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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