I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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