PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
