she was so not down for the gang bang
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I need moral support for this bender
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
