Can Purell be used as lube?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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