Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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