if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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