you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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