piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
and she was petting her beer can
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
