We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
