You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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