It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
operation harelip BJ is a go
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
