addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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