So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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