Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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