if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
