I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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