After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
