We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
