What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
