saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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