she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
