oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
