I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
