i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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