Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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