You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
