Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
