Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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