turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
