im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
