i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
is wine microwaveable?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
