Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
smell my finger.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
