How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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