I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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