I love black thongs
My liver just broke up with me...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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