I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
