what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The air was thick with penises
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
