You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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