Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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