But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
