Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Drunk is not a location!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
