I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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