this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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