i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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