if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
