:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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