thus making me awesome and them whores
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
